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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Just landed via Discord:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Going viral on Discord:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Going viral on Slack:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Making waves on Reddit:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Broadcasted on X:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Reported on Telegram:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Just shared via WeChat:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Just landed via Reddit:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Spotted on Instagram:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Live now on Twitch:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Just landed via X:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

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