I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok. Posted on19 hours ago
Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave. Posted on23 hours ago
My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it. Posted on1 day ago
Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away. Posted on1 day ago
When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text. Posted on3 days ago
Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys. Posted on3 days ago
Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation. Posted on3 days ago