Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has downloaded:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I could post β€œhello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Trending via TikTok:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Trending via Discord:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Replying to all emails with β€œya think?”.

Making waves on Threads:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Spotted on Discord:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

90 Funny text quotes

Funny text quotes πŸ˜„ are the splash of humor your day needs! Whether you’re looking to spice up your social media posts, add a giggle to your group chats, or just want a quick laugh πŸ˜‚, these witty gems are perfect. They bring a smile to your face and make any conversation brighter, turning mundane moments into bursts of laughter 🀣. Dive into the world of hilarity and spread joy with every text!

New funny text quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny text quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny text quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on X this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents be like β€œwhy aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say β€œyou look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

70 shares on WeChat this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has copied:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has downloaded:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Reddit:

McDonald’s will β€œanything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Just shared via Threads:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Making waves on Messenger:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄