46 Funny text quotes

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

  Commentary:
  "Just realized I'm the plot twist in my own story! 📚🤪✉️"

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

  Commentary:
  "Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

  Commentary:
  "New year, new me… and by 'me' I mean ghost mode activated for 364 days! 👻📅✨"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

  Commentary:
  "When you're late but bribery is baked into your plan 🍰🕒😅 #CroissantDiplomacy"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

  Commentary:
  "When I finally remember to reply, I'm basically sending a message from the Paleolithic era. 📜😂🦖"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to texting, we need to master time travel! ⏰📱🚀 #BackToTheResponse"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When your life's playlist is a little too *sharp* 🎵 and your inbox is a little too *flat* 📱😂!"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When my phone doesn't text back, it's not ghosting—it's just being introverted! 📱😅👻"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

  Commentary:
  "When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"

For even more funny text quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny text quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌