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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

91 Funny text quotes

Funny text quotes 😄 are the splash of humor your day needs! Whether you’re looking to spice up your social media posts, add a giggle to your group chats, or just want a quick laugh 😂, these witty gems are perfect. They bring a smile to your face and make any conversation brighter, turning mundane moments into bursts of laughter 🤣. Dive into the world of hilarity and spread joy with every text!

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

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