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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Breaking via Twitch:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Breaking via Messenger:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Just shared via Discord:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Funny traditional media quotes

New funny traditional media quotes 👇

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

2 weeks ago

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All funny traditional media quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

72 shares on X this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

30 shares on X this month:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

29 shares on Discord this month:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

15 shares on X this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Spotted on Pinterest:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Making waves on TikTok:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Spotted on Instagram:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Going bananas on Twitch:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny traditional media quotes

New funny traditional media quotes 👇

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

All funny traditional media quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨