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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Shared recently on X:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Making waves on TikTok:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Just landed via TikTok:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Going viral on YouTube:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Just landed via Slack:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Just shared via Discord:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Funny waist quotes

Funny waist quotes are here to tickle your tummy and brighten your day! 😂 Whether you’re embracing those curves or just love a good laugh about the waistline struggle, these witty lines will have you smiling and nodding in agreement. 🍩💃 From snack-time confessions to playful body love, get ready for some seriously relatable humor that hugs you tighter than your favorite pair of jeans! 👖✨

New funny waist quotes 👇

All funny waist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

78 shares on Slack this month:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

41 shares on Discord this month:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

35 shares on X this month:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Trending via Twitch:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Spotted on Telegram:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

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