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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2422 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,584

Funny Quotes Topics

15,255

Funny Quotes Images

12,584

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Breaking via X:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Reported on Discord:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Just shared via Instagram:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Shared recently on Discord:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Spotted on Threads:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2422 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,584

Funny Quotes Topics

15,255

Funny Quotes Images

12,584

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Trending via X:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Making waves on TikTok:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Reported on Reddit:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Going viral on Reddit:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Reported on Threads:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Seen just now on X:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Just landed via WeChat:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

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