Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Commentary:
Well, if you were in Jaws, you'd certainly have a "bite-sized" sense of humor! 🦈😄 Who needs a bigger boat when you can just downsize the threat, right? Just beware of those toothy grins in the mini-shark department! 🚤笑
4 months ago
Share →: I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Commentary:
I feel you! Let's make it official and call it Saturunday! 🤣🎉 Who wouldn't want an extra day to recover from Saturday shenanigans and prepare for Sunday brunch, am I right? #weekenddreams
4 months ago
Share →: I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Commentary:
🔇 "I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb" – a sentiment many of us can relate to! 🚫🔔 Who needs interruptions when you're busy binge-watching your favorite show or enjoying a peaceful nap? 🛌 Let's all petition for a universal "life on do not disturb" button! 😉
4 months ago
Share →: I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Commentary:
"Unfortunately, it seems some people treat religion like a cheat code for righteousness, but forgot to activate the kindness option 🎮😂 Let's hope they find the moral compass DLC soon!"
4 months ago
Share →: I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle between the love for relaxation and the dread of the treadmill! 🏃‍♂️💭 It's like the gym equipment is in a long-term relationship with dust rather than us. 😂 Who knew that our commitment to lounging on the couch could be so unwavering! 🛋️💪 Just think of the calorie-burning potential we could achieve if Netflix had a workout integration feature! 📺🏋️‍♀
5 months ago
Share →: I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Commentary:
Ah, to be a kid again where a long nap is seen as an achievement worthy of applause! Who knew that adulting would involve celebrating just making it through the day without a nap time tantrum?
5 months ago
Share →: God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Commentary:
"God, I know good things come to those who wait, but a little update on the shipping status of my soulmate wouldn't hurt, right? Just want to make sure they're not lost in transit!"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Commentary:
"Oh, wouldn't that be the dream? 💁‍♂️ 'I don't care, gotta go water my houseplants 🌿' 🚶‍♂️ It'd spice up those dull conversations for sure! 😂 #SociallyAwkwardGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Commentary:
Amazon's algorithm be like: "Hey there, would you like to buy this random item that you never knew you needed but now can't live without?" 🤖💸 Resistance is futile, embrace the temptation!
5 months ago
Share →: I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Commentary:
If only we could live the carefree moose life 🦌🌿 Watch out for those cars, they never see us coming 😉🚗 #MooseGoals