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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Shared recently on Slack:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Reported on Instagram:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Spotted on Discord:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Going viral on WeChat:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Just shared via Slack:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Home » Funny Workplace Quotes

187 Funny workplace quotes

Funny workplace quotes are here to turn your office chaos into a comedy show! 😆💼 Whether it’s surviving meetings that could’ve been emails, dealing with quirky coworkers, or wishing for a vacation that’s *never* coming, these quotes remind us that the workplace is full of laughable moments. Who said work can’t be fun? 😂👩‍💻☕

New funny workplace quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Commentary:
Commuting to "The Land of Responsibility" wasn't on my bucket list 🏢🚶‍♂️😅
5 days ago
Share →: Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Commentary:
Finally, my "smash hit" career has begun! 🍔🥊😂
1 week ago
Share →: Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Commentary:
Sure, here's a funny comment for you:

When you say "No," buckle up because you're about to get the deluxe tour of AI magic and non-stop marveling! 😂🤖✨
1 week ago
Share →: Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Commentary:
Living my dream of being a professional couch potato! 🛋️🥔😁
1 week ago
Share →: Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Commentary:
Applying all my hut skills to become the ultimate Hut Manager! 🍕🕶️🏕️
1 week ago
Share →: Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Commentary:
When multitasking becomes a superpower, but nobody gets the cape. 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️💸
1 week ago
Share →: Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Commentary:
Guess I need to find a new hobby that won't involve dodgeball training 😂👉⚠️
1 week ago
Share →: Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Commentary:
Zooming into discipline with style and a little extra breeze 😂🍑💻
1 week ago
Share →: I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Commentary:
I'm still waiting for that raise from my inner HR department! 😂💼💸
1 week ago
Share →: Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Commentary:
Trying to create the world's first high-five-fueled resignation 😆🙌🔜🚪

For even more funny workplace quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny workplace quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Trending via Discord:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Going viral on Messenger:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Reported on Telegram:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Just landed via YouTube:

Being strange is exhausting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Breaking via X:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Making waves on X:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

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