Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Commentary:
"Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"
6 months ago
Share →: Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic time traveler conundrum – always arriving fashionably late! 🕰️⏳ Who knew time machines also had a sense of humor? 😄 #TimeyWimey"
6 months ago
Share →: Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging – where 'senior moments' become a daily adventure! 🧓📱 Don't worry, just tell them you were too busy living in the moment to remember it! 😅 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"
6 months ago
Share →: If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Commentary:
Ah, the great paradox of life – we learn from our mistakes, yet sometimes wish we had learned without making them in the first place! 🤔💡 It's like saying, "If only I could time-travel and give my past self a heads-up!" 😅🕰️ Embrace the journey of growth and introspection, even if it involves some hilarious hindsight shenanigans! 🌟🤣
6 months ago
Share →: I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Commentary:
"Looks like the weekdays are just practicing for the weekends! 😂 Better schedule that coffee break in advance! ☕️#JustWingingIt"
6 months ago
Share →: And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's mastered the art of fashion transformation 🪄👖 Who needs a wardrobe overhaul when you can just redefine 'recycling' your sweatpants 😅♻️ Keep the magic alive, fashion wizard! 🔮✨"
6 months ago
Share →: My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Commentary:
"Welcome to the ever-evolving museum of the 'clean house'! 🏠✨ Here today, gone tomorrow – don't blink or you might miss it! 🙈🚫 #CleaningDilemmas"
6 months ago
Share →: Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the fans were too eager to catch some 'foul' balls instead of throwing actual punches! 🥊⚾️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Commentary:
🐭 "I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am." 🦁

Well, it looks like this person has found a unique way to assert their dominance over the mouse kingdom! Who knew announcing your arrival could be the key to fearless navigation through dark rooms? Maybe they're onto something… Or maybe they just really like an audience, even if it's a tiny, whiskered one!
6 months ago
Share →: Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Commentary:
Looks like the kitchen drama turned into a bathroom surprise plot twist! 🪳🚽 Who knew a cockroach could cause such a household adventure? Just another day in the life of an unexpected insect relocation expert! 🤣 #HouseholdHijinks