WICHITA—In a groundbreaking discovery, local geneticist Dr. Helen Myers has announced the development of “skinny genes.” “We’ve decoded the DNA sequence responsible for skinniness,” Dr. Myers said, while sporting jeans two sizes too small.

In an unexpected twist, the new genetic modification has become the latest fashion trend. “Forget slim fits, these are DNA-fit jeans,” exclaimed fashionista Marcy Lane, struggling to sit in her new pants.

Critics warn of potential complications. “Some patients report excessive aloofness,” said Dr. Fred Colins. Meanwhile, a nearby teen remarked, “I never thought I’d inherit my dad’s fashion sense through a needle.”