Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

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First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

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Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.