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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

33 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Reported on Snapchat:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Trending via X:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Reported on Reddit:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Spotted on WeChat:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Seen just now on Instagram:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Just shared via WeChat:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Breaking via Threads:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Broadcasted on X:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

4 months ago

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍅🎸 "When life gives you tomatoes, go rock out! Nothing says 'party' quite like confusing the band and tickling your taste buds at the same time. 🤘🍅 Who needs maracas when you've got fresh produce? Keep the musicians on their toes and your snacks conveniently close by. Tomatoes are truly the unsung heroes of the concert scene!" 🍅🎶

activity, band, concert, creativity, fun, fun activity, going, hand, humor, just, nervous, quirky, tomato

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

33 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Seen just now on Threads:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Making waves on YouTube:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Trending via Telegram:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Just shared via X:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

These aliens are taking forever.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Making waves on Telegram:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

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