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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Spreading quickly via X:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Just shared via WeChat:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Shared recently on Threads:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
“Insulting people, but in a good way. Because why be mean when you can be sassy with a hint of kindness? 😂👏 #SassyButClassy”

communication, end, every, good, good way, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

0

2 months ago

behavior, electricity, empowerment, ever, fork, humor, i, irony, risky, risky behavior, socket, time, unexpected
Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

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2 months ago

art, art museum, attraction, compliment, flirty, humor, i, just, museum, romantic, stare, why
We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

0

3 months ago

alien, before, Earth, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, need, newcomer, people, shopping, store
Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

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2 months ago

context, humor, live, living, me, neighbor, neighbors, next, rude
I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

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2 months ago

day, day off, every, great, having, humor, i, joke, Monday, relaxation, sarcasm, should, sound, want, week, weekend, work
Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

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2 months ago

adult, caffeine, coffee, dust, energizer, fairy, fairy dust, humor, magic, version

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

24 shares on X this month:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

72 shares on Slack this month:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Spotted on Messenger:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just landed via X:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Making waves on Slack:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Just shared via Facebook:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨