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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has shared:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has shared:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on WeChat:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via WeChat:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Reported on Telegram:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Just landed via Discord:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Just shared via Instagram:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Seen just now on Slack:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Going viral on WeChat:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see β€œLikes” in my journal.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.
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Commentary:
"Good luck deciphering my brain's enigma code! πŸ€”πŸ” Might as well be trying to interpret hieroglyphics, am I right? πŸ˜‚ #LostInTranslation"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has copied:

Warning: This movie contains β€œAdult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has viewed:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has copied:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Reported on WhatsApp:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Just landed via Reddit:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Just shared via YouTube:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Just shared via Telegram:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending via WeChat:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Spotted on Twitch:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Going viral on Instagram:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

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