Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”