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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Making waves on Facebook:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Just shared via Slack:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Live now on Threads:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Humorous text teasing guys wearing NASA shirts without knowing their music.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guys, let's get our facts straight before launching our fashion choices into orbit 🚀👨‍🚀 Can anyone hum the tune of 'Space Odyssey' or 'Rocket Man'? 🎶🌌 #FashionFail #LostInSpace"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

60 shares on X this month:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

43 shares on Slack this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not feeling very worky today.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Making waves on YouTube:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Making waves on Slack:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Trending via Messenger:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Just shared via X:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Trending via Slack:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Going viral on WeChat:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

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