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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Shared recently on X:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Spotted on X:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Just landed via Twitch:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Seen just now on X:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Making waves on Threads:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.
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Commentary:
"Guys, let's get our facts straight before launching our fashion choices into orbit 🚀👨‍🚀 Can anyone hum the tune of 'Space Odyssey' or 'Rocket Man'? 🎶🌌 #FashionFail #LostInSpace"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Seen just now on X:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Reported on Facebook:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Just landed via Reddit:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Going viral on YouTube:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

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