Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.
  • The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.
  • I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.
  • Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.
  • You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”
  • Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.