Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'nap instead of snacks' move! 🛏️😂 Who needs food when you can dream of a feast instead, right? 🍔💭 #SleepingThroughTheHunger"

ever, food, funny situation, house, humor, hunger, hungry, nap, procrastination, relatable, situation, tiredness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

0

2 months ago

communication, date, forever, ghost, humor, joke, just, left, relationship, speechless, surprise
Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

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2 months ago

am, ask, before, humor, i, kids, parenting, patience, patient, people, self-reflection, stupid, yourself
Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

0

2 months ago

AI, app, dating, experience, humor, i, let, machines, me, modern, modern experience, place, relationship, robot, suffer, suffering, technology, Tinder, want
Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

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2 months ago

challenges, hard, humor, irony, life, stupid, wisdom
Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

0

2 months ago

body, body grooming, bush, fashion, grooming, humor, loss, pants, pants size, shave, shaved, size, weight, weight loss
Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

0

5 months ago

age, berry, choice, dying, foraging, humor, irony, life, life choice, nonsense, survival, wild

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

57 shares on Messenger this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Just landed via Slack:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Trending via Slack:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Broadcasted on X:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨