Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.
  • I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.
  • Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”
  • Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.
  • When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.
  • If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?