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Commentary:
"Having children is basically signing up for a lifelong pyramid scheme where the 'investment' keeps growing… in toys, clothes, and college tuition! 🧸👶💸#Parenting101"

children, choice, family, humor, joke, life, life choice, parenting, pyramid, pyramid scheme, responsibility, scheme

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

0

2 months ago

bleep, dialogue, everything, humor, movie, R2D2, robot, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, wars, why
Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

0

3 months ago

activity, busy, club, degree, doing, engaged, everyone, Japan, master’s degree, Masters, run, run club, travel
The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

0

2 months ago

asked, coffee, difference, humor, i, opinion, preference, request, sarcasm
Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

0

5 months ago

andrew, Andrew Tate, Axe, Axe body spray, body, celebrity, consciousness, humor, personification, satire, scent, spray, tate
Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

0

5 months ago

baby, baby girl, beautiful, cafeteria, girl, humor, name
Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, me, money, sarcasm, throw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

42 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Live now on Slack:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Just shared via Facebook:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨