Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

24 shares on Discord this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.