BIRMINGHAM—The tumultuous end to a relationship has left one man taking legal action. “The gym and I just weren’t working out,” lamented Tim Davies, gesturing to a pristine treadmill he’s sworn to avoid. “It kept pushing me to my limits,” he explained, adding that their toxic ties were a weight he refused to bear any longer.

Tim’s sudden separation has raised eyebrows among friends shocked by his swift retreat. “I’d see them together every day,” said neighbor Susan Mills, recounting the ritualistic early morning rendezvous. “Now, I occasionally spot him drowning his sorrows with protein shakes and Netflix workouts, evidently deep in post-gym recovery.”

The ramifications of this split have yet to fully unfold. “I’ve had to switch grocery stores to avoid awkward run-ins in the protein aisle,” confessed Tim. Though the gym claims it “never sweated it,” onlookers were alarmed to find Tim in front of a row of ellipticals murmuring, “It’s not you, it’s my lumbago.”