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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Breaking via Messenger:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Trending via Telegram:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Just shared via Facebook:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Seen just now on Slack:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

2 months ago

0

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle is real! Watch out, folks, for the legendary battle between a clingy sports bra and a slightly damp body – it's a showdown of epic proportions! 🔥💦 Just when you thought post-shower routines couldn't get any more dramatic, the sports bra swoops in to steal the show. Hell hath no fury like a sports bra on a mission! 😅👙 #WetAndWildDrama

being, body, bra, discomfort, dry, dry body, fitness, funny moment, fury, hell, humor, just, moment, relatable, showered, sports, sports bra, struggle, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

0

2 months ago

billion, billion dollar, dollar, frustration, humor, idea, invention, printer, technology, works
I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

0

2 months ago

age, am, entertainment, humor, i, media, MTV, music, music video, nostalgia, old, played, still, video, videos
Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

0

2 months ago

90s, adulting, affordability, affordable, feel, humor, i, nostalgia, scam
No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

0

4 weeks ago

adult, adulting, being, destination, frustration, humor, hurry, irony, just, life, life truth, me, place, responsibility, somewhere, truth, want, warned
It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, strange, Tuesday, week, WTF
While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, blower, cleaner, cleaning, close, exaggeration, flamethrower, humor, leaf, leaf blower, second, tools, unconventional, unconventional tools

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

89 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air fryer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Trending via Discord:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Just shared via Discord:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

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