Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.
  • Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.
  • Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.
  • Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.
  • When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.
  • My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.