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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

52 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Just shared via TikTok:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Just shared via TikTok:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Just landed via Discord:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

5 months ago

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

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Commentary:
Ah, the age-old existential crisis disguised as a witty comeback! 🤯🧐 You know it's bad when even your own imagination starts questioning your reality! 🤔😂 Just remember, if this is a dream, at least you have excellent taste in imaginary companions! 😉🌌

existential, figment, humor, identity, imagination, just, know, question, reality, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

52 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Making waves on Threads:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Trending via Facebook:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Trending via YouTube:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

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