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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Breaking via WeChat:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Spotted on Instagram:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Just landed via Discord:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Just shared via Threads:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Spotted on Slack:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Parenting wisdom at its finest! 🤣👪 Reassigning blame like a pro – now that's a life skill worth mastering! 🙌 #ParentingGoals"

always, blame, humor, i, just, kids, learn, learning, mistakes, okay, parenting, people, responsibility, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

0

2 months ago

behavior, call, communication, humor, procrastination, social, social behavior, stare, technology
Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

0

2 months ago

coworker, hit, humor, i, just, office, reminder, rules, stupid, workplace
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

0

2 months ago

foot, function, furniture, house, humor, object, toe
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

0

2 months ago

adventure, camping, fortune, humor, irony, live, outdoor, poor
I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, connection, free, funny idea, gravestone, humor, idea, me, people, social, social connection, technology, visit, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Facebook this month:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

44 shares on Discord this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

65 shares on Discord this month:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

61 shares on Discord this month:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

46 shares on X this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Seen just now on WeChat:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Trending via Instagram:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Live now on YouTube:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨