Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Just landed via YouTube:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Going viral on Facebook:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Trending via Snapchat:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Shared recently on Threads:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about bad luck! 😂 Bet living in a palace beats dealing with capitalism any day. 🏰☀️ #FirstWorldProblems"

born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

0

2 months ago

argument, camel, convince, difficulty, eye, humor, irony, needle, online, opinion, pass, somebody, wrong
I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

0

2 months ago

activity, bathroom, clean, cleaning, crime, destroy, destroying, evidence, funny activity, humor, i, listening, podcast, pretend, true, true crime
Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

0

1 month ago

cartoons, else, entertainment, humor, husband, kids, lesson, lessons, looney, Looney Tunes, moral, moral lesson, nothing, only, parenting, said, tunes, wants, watch
If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

0

2 months ago

day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, leg, leg day, squatter, workout
The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

0

1 month ago

appetite, conflict, destruction, disaster, food, humor, irony, me, recipe, relationship
Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

0

3 months ago

always, breath, cat, cats, clean, cleaning, detergent, fish, happiness, laundry, laundry detergent, little, smell, vanilla

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨