I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Commentary:
“Just imagine waddling out of the aquarium with a cute little penguin peeking out from under your shirt like ‘Surprise!’ 🐧😂 Who needs pockets when you have a penguin pal!”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking news: Professionalism redefined! 👩‍💼💁‍♂️ Addressing work emails with a touch of sass and a sprinkle of confusion. Get ready for the recipient’s puzzled look followed by a chuckle. Who said corporate life couldn’t be fun? 😄 #EmailEtiquetteGoals”

  • Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a hug when you have your fellow little green friends from outer space? 👽🚀 Let’s be real, the real MVPs of Toy Story are those adorable aliens sticking together through it all. Friendship goals achieved! 🌌🤖”

  • How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

    Commentary:
    Ah, the age-old existential crisis disguised as a witty comeback! 🤯🧐 You know it’s bad when even your own imagination starts questioning your reality! 🤔😂 Just remember, if this is a dream, at least you have excellent taste in imaginary companions! 😉🌌

  • I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

    Commentary:
    “Well, at least someone has high standards when it comes to earning a living 🩸💰 Who knew a blood bank could be viewed as a den of suspicious transactions? Better watch out for those shady vampires offering interest-free loans next!”

  • I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

    Commentary:
    🎶📱 When your favorite song becomes so real that even the artist can’t ignore it! 💦😂 Who needs a concert when you can just blast their music in your living room and summon them for a glass of water? Stay hydrated while rocking out! 🎤🚰

  • A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone took the lyrics a bit too literally and turned the disco into a crime scene! 🔍🎶 Let’s hope the panic at the disco was just because they ran out of glitter and not because of any actual murders on the dance floor! 💃🚓