Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.
  • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.
  • Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.
  • Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.
  • Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.
  • Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.