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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2248 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,410

Funny Quotes Topics

15,117

Funny Quotes Images

12,410

2 hours ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Trending via LinkedIn:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Reported on Pinterest:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Trending via Twitch:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Trending via Threads:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Trending via X:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

6 months ago

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic grocery shopping struggle – a balancing act worthy of a circus performer! 🤹‍♂️ Who needs multitasking skills when you can just challenge yourself to locate those elusive keys in the wrong pocket instead? 🤦‍♂️ Remember, smooth grocery transport is an art form! 🛒🔑"

always, arm, carry, grocery, humor, i, keys, multitasking, one arm, pocket, struggle, wrong, wrong pocket

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2248 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,410

Funny Quotes Topics

15,117

Funny Quotes Images

12,410

2 hours ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Going viral on TikTok:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Going viral on TikTok:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Just landed via X:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Breaking via Telegram:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

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