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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Going viral on Threads:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Live now on TikTok:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Just shared via YouTube:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Trending via Facebook:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Spotted on Slack:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Trending via Facebook:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

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I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic grocery shopping struggle – a balancing act worthy of a circus performer! 🤹‍♂️ Who needs multitasking skills when you can just challenge yourself to locate those elusive keys in the wrong pocket instead? 🤦‍♂️ Remember, smooth grocery transport is an art form! 🛒🔑"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

15 shares on X this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Just shared via Messenger:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Trending via YouTube:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Spotted on TikTok:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Just landed via Telegram:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Just shared via Discord:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Spotted on Twitch:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Trending via Instagram:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

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