I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Commentary:
“Ah, a true expert in the art of self-destruction! 🎭 Who needs GPS when you’ve got your own special way of finding the rocky road? 🛣️ Just remember to wear a hard hat on your journey to chaos! 🚧🤦‍♂️”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs New Year’s resolutions when you have spring rolls to look forward to? 🍣 Time to chase away the winter blues with some delicious rolls! 💪😋”

  • More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out for the silent woman – she’s plotting world domination while you’re busy laughing at lion memes. 🦁👩‍💼💥”

  • My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

    Commentary:
    “Nothing screams classy criminal quite like a Saab cruising through a baking showdown! 🚗🍰 Just imagine the judges trying to decide if your cake is more criminal than your driving skills! 😆 #BakeAndBrake”

  • I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew excelling at faults could be a special skill? 🌟😂 Keep shining bright in all your imperfect glory! 💪🌟 #FlawlesslyFlawed”

  • Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

    Commentary:
    “Whoever missed the opportunity to name diarrhea medicine ‘Gonorrhea’ must’ve been too busy laughing! 💩😂 Sometimes a missed chance is a real, uh, relief! 😉”

  • Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

    Commentary:
    “Before Facebook, the real ‘hostage situation’ was subjecting people to endless photo albums of our vacations! 😂📷 Now we can share those moments without the risk of a living room slideshow marathon. Thank you, social media! 🌴📸”