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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,801

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Trending via Twitch:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Spotted on Pinterest:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Just landed via YouTube:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

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I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.
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Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious workings of the human brain – a vault of '80s lyrics and a black hole for daily tasks. It's like your mind is stuck on repeat for "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" but on shuffle when it comes to why you went to the kitchen in the first place. Perhaps your brain is secretly channeling its inner rockstar instead of focusing on groceries!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

52 shares on X this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Talents: eating!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting a new life today, bye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Making waves on YouTube:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Making waves on Twitch:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Just shared via Slack:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Going viral on Reddit:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

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