Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.
  • I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.
  • I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?
  • I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.
  • As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.
  • I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.