Trendy Funny Quotes

  • So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.
  • When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.
  • When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.
  • Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?
  • Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.
  • Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”