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Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you have daily doses of mind-boggling encounters? 💪🏼😆 Sometimes, the incredulity workout is all we need to stay active and living our best puzzled lives! 🤯😂"

activity, disbelief, exercise, head, humor, i, physical, physical activity, sarcasm, shaking, shaking head

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

1 month ago
animal, chicken, food, good, humor, irony, taste, understand, understanding
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

4 months ago
behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute
If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

1 month ago
dead, exhaustion, good, Google, humor, sleep, sleep-deprived, symptoms, type
Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

5 months ago
age, candle, grow, growing, growing old, height, humor, i, life, metaphor, much, old, shorter, tall, young
I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

1 month ago
attention, attraction, humor, people, personality
I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

1 month ago
day, humor, i, morning, relate, rooster, screaming, start, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Trending via Pinterest:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Breaking via Telegram:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Breaking via Instagram:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

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Activity Log ✨

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

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I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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