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Commentary:
"Talk about a creative twist on 'delivery'! 🍳🚫 Who needs pizza when you can have a house omelette, right? 🏠🍳 Just make sure to add some cheese for that extra curb appeal! 🧀😂 #SmallTownProblems"

childhood, delivery, egging, food, food delivery, house, humor, i, life, rural, rural life, small, small town, someone, thing, town

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56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

90 shares on X this month:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

80 shares on Discord this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Just shared via Telegram:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Just landed via Threads:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just shared via Messenger:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Long story short, I survived.

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Long story short, I survived.

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨