Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.
  • A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”
  • The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).
  • Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.
  • My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.
  • My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.