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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

48 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Freshly posted on Discord:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Reported on Slack:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Trending via Reddit:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Going viral on Threads:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Making waves on X:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Spotted on Messenger:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

6 months ago

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of deciphering our availability while being ankle-deep in work tasks 🤔⏱️ Remember folks, if you see a colleague in the wild habitat of their workstation, chances are they are not on a tropical vacation 🏝️🚫 Just a friendly reminder from your office survival guide 😉📚 #WorkLifeBlues

ask, expand, free, hate, humor, i, know, moment, someone, time, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

48 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Just shared via Pinterest:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Spreading quickly via X:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Reported on Snapchat:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

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