Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.
  • I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.
  • Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.
  • I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.
  • Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.
  • Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?