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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Making waves on Slack:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Going viral on Reddit:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Trending via Instagram:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Trending via Threads:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Freshly posted on Discord:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

2 months ago

0

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this brain is playing a tricky game of hide and seek with itself! 🧠🔄 Maybe it just needs a good ol' brain workout to get things in order. Who needs directions when you can just go in circles, right? 🤪 #BrainTeasers"

brain, discovery, humor, i, just, left, left side, mental, mental state, nothing, right, right side, self-awareness, side, state

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

0

4 months ago

3, afternoon, cook, day, dinner, grandma, humor, i, old fashioned, relaxation, rest, sit, used, why
The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

0

2 months ago

banana, banana bread, bread, drama, end, fight, fun, humor, internet, media, online, online drama, post, social, social media, unexpected
If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

0

4 months ago

bird, early, early bird, face, full, hiking, humor, learned, nature, outdoor, spiderweb, thing
“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

0

2 months ago

bounce, conversation, frustration, i, leg, screaming, start, stop
Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

0

2 months ago

activity, awkward, awkward situation, context, date, first date, funny context, hiking, Hitler, just, outdoor, outdoor activity, situation, ugh
You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

0

2 months ago

creativity, daily, daily struggle, day, every, feel, guilty, humor, just, motivation, procrastination, struggle, writer, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

89 shares on Slack this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

89 shares on X this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Absurdity is the spice of life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Breaking via YouTube:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Live now on Threads:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Spotted on Instagram:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

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