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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Freshly posted on Slack:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Spotted on X:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Going viral on TikTok:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, let me just schedule a quick 100-year therapy session and we can totally chill after that. 🕰️🧘‍♂️ #LifeGoals"

activity, everything, friends, get over, hang, hang out, humor, i, just, life, me, need, over

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted
Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, let, man, responsibility, ruin, sarcasm, self-deprecation
Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

0

2 months ago

affect, confusion, effect, Googling, grammar, humor, incognito, internet, search, vs, window
I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

0

2 months ago

aging, breaking, humor, i, knees, noise, prepared, someone, sound, spaghetti, stairs, time
The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

0

2 months ago

connection, generation, headphone, headphones, heartbreak, know, loose, loose connection, music, never, new, nostalgia, relationship, technology, wired, wired headphone
Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

0

2 months ago

after, expert, fact, hindsight, humor, irony, knowledge, observation, opinion

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

12 shares on Messenger this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Making waves on Slack:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Making waves on Instagram:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Just shared via YouTube:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Going viral on X:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Making waves on Slack:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Just shared via Discord:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Spotted on Twitch:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨