I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.