Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Breaking via WeChat:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Just shared via Twitch:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Just shared via Threads:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Just shared via WeChat:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, let me just schedule a quick 100-year therapy session and we can totally chill after that. 🕰️🧘‍♂️ #LifeGoals"

activity, everything, friends, get over, hang, hang out, humor, i, just, life, me, need, over

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

0

2 months ago

favorite, favorite type, find out, gender, gender reveal, i, just, me, party, reveal, tell, tell me, type, where
Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

0

2 months ago

cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working
When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

0

1 month ago

communication, dating, humor, i, money, respect, stop, talking, woman, women
I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

0

2 months ago

always, am, confirm, confirmation, door, doors, dumb, humor, i, pull, push, self-deprecation, three, times
Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

0

2 months ago

architecture, city, ever, Gomorrah, history, humor, irony, nobody, planning, Sodom, urban, urban planning, walkable
I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

0

2 months ago

card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

25 is the new 0 years old.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Going bananas on WeChat:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Going viral on Threads:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Just shared via X:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Just landed via Facebook:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Going viral on YouTube:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨