Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Live now on YouTube:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Trending via Discord:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Live now on Discord:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Making waves on Twitch:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

2 months ago

0

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the art of passive-aggressive politeness at its finest 👏 You're always welcome for those unsolicited 'You're welcome!' moments. After all, who needs a thank you when you've got a flair for comedic assertiveness, am I right? 😉"

appreciation, behavior, funny behavior, humor, i, loud, love, me, response, sarcasm, saying, someone, thanks, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

0

2 months ago

28, 28 Days, apocalypse, Britain, comedy, days, exist, handle, hilarious, humor, idea, independence, international, own, rest, satire, saw, series, world, zombie
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

0

5 months ago

day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking
Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

0

2 months ago

enter, everyone, humor, irony, leave, observation, pleasure, room, social
Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

0

2 months ago

asleep, child, effective, family, humor, instrument, parenting, practice, sibling, still
I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

0

2 months ago

British, communication, culture, humor, i, language, misunderstanding, people, subtitles, wish
The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, dead, death, humor, keep, keeping, only, people, secret, secret keeping, three, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Reddit this month:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

27 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,547

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Breaking via Reddit:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Going viral on Discord:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Going viral on Discord:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Seen just now on Threads:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Just landed via Threads:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Seen just now on Discord:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴