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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Live now on Facebook:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Just shared via Discord:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Just landed via Telegram:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.
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Commentary:
"Well, at least you haven't lost all your marbles… yet! Just be careful not to let them roll out through that small hole in the bag – you might need them for a game of mental juggling later!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,820

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Just landed via Discord:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Trending via Messenger:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Trending via Messenger:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Trending via Reddit:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

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