I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

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I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

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Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

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You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

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Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

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Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

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Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.