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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

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My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

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Every weekend has two days: Saturday and Itโ€™s Monday Tomorrow.

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At what age do I delete Snapchat?

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I need an emergency cheeseburger.

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All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

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My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

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Where do we acquire the ducks that weโ€™re supposed to be putting in a row?

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In my 20โ€™s: I want to find true love. In my 40โ€™s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

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I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Commentary:
"Who knew a simple 'pencils down' could awaken the hidden speed demon within us all? ๐ŸŽ๏ธโœ๏ธ Just like that, our writing abilities go from zero to 100 in the blink of an eye! ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’จ The power of a deadline, folks – turning mere mortals into writing machines! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜„"



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