Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Going viral on TikTok:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Broadcasted on X:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Going viral on TikTok:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Going bananas on X:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs hugs when you've got a family-sized bag of crisps to keep you company! 🤷🏻‍♂️🥔 #SnackTime #Priorities"

bag, crisps, family, food, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

0

2 months ago

before, bring, carefully, course, everyday, everyday life, family, forgetfulness, grocery, grocery list, humor, i, life, list, me, mother, procrastination, tradition
Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

0

2 months ago

alien, anticipation, extraterrestrial, humor, invasion, joke, patiently, sci-fi, waiting
The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

0

2 months ago

day, frustration, handed, humor, i, impatience, joke, left, patience, sarcasm, taking, too, waiting
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

0

5 months ago

anxiety, escape, give, humor, just, me, minutes, panic, panic room, room, time
Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

0

2 months ago

assassination, best, best day, day, ever, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, history, humor, irony, media, meme, shot, social, social media, Twitter
Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

0

2 months ago

Dick, dislike, guy, humor, joke, name, nickname, Richard, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

52 shares on X this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

35 shares on Slack this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Going viral on TikTok:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Just shared via WeChat:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Live now on Instagram:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨