Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

43 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Just shared via Pinterest:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Breaking via YouTube:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Going viral on Facebook:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Just shared via Instagram:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Spotted on X:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Trending via Telegram:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

6 months ago

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos and surprise an emotional support octopus could bring – slapping away negativity and snagging some steals like a true partner in crime 🐙💥🛍️ Who needs therapy when you've got a mollusk sidekick for all your outlandish shenanigans?"

emotional, emotional support, humor, i, octopus, people, pet, shoplift, slap, support, train, training, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share → : Alexa, mute my children.
1 month ago
Share → : The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.
5 months ago
Share → : Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?
6 months ago
Share → : Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.
4 months ago
Share → : Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
6 months ago
Share → : Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.
6 months ago
Share → : There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.
5 months ago
Share → : You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

43 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Seen just now on X:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Going viral on Twitch:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Making waves on YouTube:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Making waves on Threads:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Freshly posted on X:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

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