I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Commentary:
“Imagine the chaos and surprise an emotional support octopus could bring – slapping away negativity and snagging some steals like a true partner in crime 🐙💥🛍️ Who needs therapy when you’ve got a mollusk sidekick for all your outlandish shenanigans?”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.
  • Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.
  • A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.
  • We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.
  • Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.
  • I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.