Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
  • If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’
  • Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.
  • The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.
  • My friend says to me, ā€œWhat rhymes with orange?ā€ And I told him, ā€œNo, it doesn’t.ā€
  • You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.