Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like someone's priorities are clearly in order! 🥛🐱 Canceling milk delivery is serious business when WWIII is looming, but protecting the cat is non-negotiable. Gotta love a feline's survival instincts, they always know when it's time to hunker down! 😄🌏💥

again, best, cancel, cat, humor, i, ID, irony, kick, milk, preparation, urgency, WWIII

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

1 month ago
another, contradiction, humor, irony, me, nightmare, peace, personality, self, worst
The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

1 month ago
bone, bone marrow, cow, eat, eating, food, humor, irony, marrow, person, realization, realize
I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

1 month ago
distraction, disturb, do not disturb, focus, humor, i, life, peace, put, whole, wish
I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

2 months ago
beauty, beauty routine, ever, fast, humor, i, joke, legs, life, loss, lost, routine, shave, today, weight
My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

2 months ago
childhood, cry, day, emotion, first day, i, kindergarten, parenting, school, teacher, today
I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

1 month ago
bed, body, breakfast, crisis, eating, eating in bed, gym, gym membership, humor, i, indulgence, me, membership, midlife, midlife crisis, revenge, revenge body, self-care, Snickers, want, wish

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just shared via Facebook:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Just shared via Threads:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Just landed via Twitch:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏