Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

7 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Making waves on Facebook:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Seen just now on X:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just shared via TikTok:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Just landed via Slack:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

6 months ago

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of selective amnesia blended with a touch of marital honesty! 🤣 It seems like your wife might need a memory boost or maybe just some upgraded rose-tinted glasses! 👓💭 Just remind her of your charm and wit, and she'll remember why she fell for you in the first place! 😉🌟

Alzheimer’s, day, early, every, humor, i, idea, joke, marriage, me, memory, relationship, saw, think, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

7 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Breaking via Pinterest:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Reported on TikTok:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Trending via Slack:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Shared recently on Facebook:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Spotted on Facebook:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

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