Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Just landed via TikTok:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Just landed via Discord:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Spotted on WeChat:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Freshly posted on X:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

1 month ago

Witty quote about nervous flatulence being useful if kidnapped, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ol' 'fart your way to freedom' strategy, a true gas-powered escape plan! 🌬️💨 Just imagine the looks on your kidnappers' faces as they realize they've underestimated the power of nervous flatulence! 💨😂 Remember, when in doubt, let it out! #FlatulenceForFreedom"

anxiety, escape, ever, flatulence, helpful, humor, i, kidnapped, nervous, situation, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

27 shares on Threads this month:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

22 shares on Threads this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Trending via Twitch:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Making waves on Threads:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Going bananas on Twitch:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

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