Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like you're taking 'unwinding' to a whole new level! 🤪 Perhaps it's time to switch from decomposing to decompressing…less mess, more zen! 🧘‍♂️"

decompose, decompress, humor, i, relaxation, stress, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

92 shares on X this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Just shared via Telegram:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Spotted on TikTok:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Trending via Pinterest:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Seen just now on Discord:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨