Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like you're taking 'unwinding' to a whole new level! 🤪 Perhaps it's time to switch from decomposing to decompressing…less mess, more zen! 🧘‍♂️"

decompose, decompress, humor, i, relaxation, stress, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I love having plans to cancel.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

97 shares on Slack this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Spotted on Telegram:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Just shared via Threads:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Just shared via TikTok:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Seen just now on Discord:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Just shared via Threads:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨