Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.
  • Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.
  • You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!
  • Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.
  • I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.
  • Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.