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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,767

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Just shared via YouTube:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Spotted on X:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Shared recently on X:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Shared recently on Slack:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Live now on Threads:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

2 months ago

0

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone had a fab hair day! 🎶✨ Channeling those Beatles vibes with your hair getting a ticket to ride in all directions! Maybe a little help from Sergeant Pepper's comb would do the trick! 🚂💈 #FabFourHairGoals"

Beatles, everywhere, hair, here, i, lyric, morning, music, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

0

2 months ago

best, buying, family, fight, gifts, holiday, humor, relatif, sarcasm, start, time
People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

0

2 months ago

ariana, Ariana Grande, bon, Bon Iver, braverman, celebrity, comparison, courier, fonts, grande, humor, iver, jesse, Jesse Ventura, Jim, Jim Courier, lydia, Lydia West, people, roman, Roman Roy, roy, sound, suella, Suella Braverman, ventura, west, wordplay
While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, blower, cleaner, cleaning, close, exaggeration, flamethrower, humor, leaf, leaf blower, second, tools, unconventional, unconventional tools
Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

0

3 months ago

communication, excuse, eyesight, glasses, hearing, humor, i, misunderstanding, repeat, said, sorry
That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

0

2 months ago

car, depressing, depression, disappointment, expectation, explode, humor, moment, start, work
Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

0

2 months ago

ask, bank, bonus, call, Christmas, humor, joke, money, small

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on TikTok this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

19 shares on Threads this month:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,775

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Making waves on Discord:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Live now on Instagram:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Live now on Instagram:

I think God was high when he made me.

Live now on Telegram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Going viral on X:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Freshly posted on X:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

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