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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

27 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Trending via Twitch:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Just shared via WeChat:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Trending via TikTok:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Just shared via Telegram:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

6 months ago

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone had a fab hair day! 🎶✨ Channeling those Beatles vibes with your hair getting a ticket to ride in all directions! Maybe a little help from Sergeant Pepper's comb would do the trick! 🚂💈 #FabFourHairGoals"

Beatles, everywhere, hair, here, i, lyric, morning, music, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

27 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Breaking via Threads:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Trending via Instagram:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Making waves on YouTube:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Spotted on Messenger:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

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