Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Just landed via Threads:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Just shared via Discord:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Just landed via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Just shared via Threads:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Spotted on Instagram:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Just landed via Telegram:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sleeping beauties who doze off in an instant must live in a dreamland untouched by the woes of insomnia 😴✨. Meanwhile, the rest of us toss and turn, envying their pillow-perfect slumber! Sweet dreams, lucky souls! 💤😉"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Breaking via X:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Going viral on Instagram:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Going viral on TikTok:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Going viral on Discord:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Going viral on Facebook:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Just shared via WeChat:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴