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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2245 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,407

Funny Quotes Topics

15,114

Funny Quotes Images

12,407

1 hour ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Spotted on Messenger:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Just shared via X:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Going viral on Slack:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

6 months ago

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the profound wisdom of doors – always teaching us life lessons in their own unique way! 🚪💡 Remember, if at first the door doesn't open, try again. And again. And maybe a few more times just for good measure. Persistence is key, folks! 🔑😄"

again, close, door, doors, humor, just, logic, open, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2245 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,407

Funny Quotes Topics

15,114

Funny Quotes Images

12,407

1 hour ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Breaking via Threads:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Going viral on WeChat:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

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