Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Iโ€™m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I have money, then I donโ€™t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

No, I wonโ€™t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Doctors donโ€™t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, itโ€™s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2088 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,250

Funny Quotes Topics

14,991

Funny Quotes Images

12,250

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Going viral on Threads:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I havenโ€™t given a shit in months.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Violence is not the answer, unless youโ€™re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piรฑata.

Reported on Messenger:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, โ€œI don’t even have a coconut!โ€

Shared recently on YouTube:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Spotted on Slack:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldnโ€™t have job.

Freshly posted on X:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Making waves on X:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Trying to navigate life with just a compass is like trying to find your way out of a maze blindfolded! ๐Ÿงญ๐Ÿ™ˆ Don't worry, even if you end up going in circles, at least you'll have a fancy metal pointer to keep you company! ๐Ÿคฃ #LostInStyle

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes ๐Ÿค

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2088 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,250

Funny Quotes Topics

14,991

Funny Quotes Images

12,250

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Podcasts are like babies, theyโ€™re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has downloaded:

Thereโ€™s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldnโ€™t be sticky and it is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving ainโ€™t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has downloaded:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Snapchat:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Just landed via Slack:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Just landed via Instagram:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is โ€˜migraneur.โ€™ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Trending via YouTube:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Just landed via X:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Breaking via Reddit:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Going viral on Threads:

My mama didnโ€™t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Share Wordgag ๐Ÿ™

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด