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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Trending via Snapchat:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Seen just now on Discord:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Seen just now on Telegram:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Breaking via X:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

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If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.
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Commentary:
Trying to navigate life with just a compass is like trying to find your way out of a maze blindfolded! 🧭🙈 Don't worry, even if you end up going in circles, at least you'll have a fancy metal pointer to keep you company! 🤣 #LostInStyle

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Making waves on Telegram:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Shared recently on X:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Trending via X:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

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