Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'it's not me, it's definitely you' argument! 🙄 Looks like someone's trying to channel their inner philosopher while shifting blame. 😅 Remember, it takes two to tango, but only one to make a dramatic exit! 💃🕺"

ever, humor, problem, reason, relationship, sarcasm, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

1 month ago

closing, date, entertainment, home, house, humor, internet, movie, movie date, night, pirated, pirated site, pop-up, site, sites, spend, streaming, technology
When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

2 months ago

activity, bring, dog, dog treat, humor, i, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, owner, people, people treat, pet, pet owner, take, treat, walk
Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

5 months ago

body, full, humor, laziness, lord, me, motivation, potential, prayer, push, rest, self-improvement, year, year-end
I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

2 months ago

comedy, humor, i, irony, life, never, problem, self-deprecation, worse
Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

1 month ago

brand, brand new week, excited, hanging, hanging on, humor, motivation, new, optimism, struggle, super, thread, week
Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

2 months ago

age, drinking, feeling, going, half, hangover, humor, math, middle-aged, morning, next, party, twice, waking

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Going viral on Threads:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Trending via Slack:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Live now on Twitch:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Wordgag ツ

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If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

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If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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