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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Going viral on TikTok:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Making waves on Twitch:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Breaking via YouTube:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Spotted on Threads:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Going viral on Telegram:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Trending via Reddit:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'it's not me, it's definitely you' argument! 🙄 Looks like someone's trying to channel their inner philosopher while shifting blame. 😅 Remember, it takes two to tango, but only one to make a dramatic exit! 💃🕺"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

33 shares on Threads this month:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

28 shares on X this month:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Going viral on Threads:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Just landed via Discord:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Going viral on Twitch:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Spotted on Twitch:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

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